My greatest accomplishment is my family. My husband, my boys, and my girls. Growing up, I dreamed of my family. I planned for my family. My children. Early on, like in 6th grade, I decided four children would be good - two boys, two girls, respectively. And they would be spaced accordingly - two boys, two years apart, wait a few years and have two girls, two years apart. A really good plan.
Only, it was my plan, not necessarily His plan.
During our adoption of Maddox, I truly felt as though the child bearing stage in my life was over. Our last child. Our last adoption.
I will never forget standing in front of our hotel room as we were leaving. We took a picture and I had this sad feeling of saying goodbye. I knew we would not be back. At least not to adopt.
Adoption is exhausting. The decisions. The paperwork. The money. Or lack of. The referral. The waiting. The lack of control. There is nothing smooth about it until it is over and, even that, sometimes is not smooth.
And when Maddox came home, I felt full. Content.
Fast forward several months. I was innocently looking at pictures of children waiting for their families. A little girl MK's age popped up. Her expression was so sad. No life, no smile. Her hair was shaved. Her dark eyes looked hopeless. She tugged at my heart. I said to Ryan, "You have to come look at this little girl. She is beautiful!" He came over, looked at her photo and said, "If we only had the money." This statement took me by complete surprise. It shook me. My thoughts were not on adopting this little one, I was just looking at the faces of the hopeless, wondering what would be next for me, for our family, ie, mission work, etc. The beginning of the "unsettling" began on this day.....
Recently I have been trying to decipher my plan vs. His plan. How do you know the difference? Quite unsettling. We do not have the resources for another adoption yet we do have the heart for to care for the unwanted. Realistically, we know that we cannot save them all. But could we make the difference in just one more? When is "just one more" enough? I always thought I would just know; I always thought that four was the final count; I really thought moving forward with our four children was the plan from here on out - after all, one six years away from college, one close to braces, one facing surgery in the next year and one facing surgery in the next two years, that sounds like enough, right? Yep! Yet, the unsettled feeling creeps in and the wonder sets in.....
And the "what ifs" creep up....
We are simply praying through our feelings of what lies ahead for our family. You have all been wonderful to us, supported us and loved all four of our children like no one else can. We continue to grow with Him and should we feel led to adopt again, should the doors open, yes, we will answer. However, at this time, we will be still and listen.
The children have spent time this week making very special welcome home posters.....
and writing letters.....
and every morning and/or evening, their favorite thing to do has been to Facetime the Hatchers.....
tonight it all came to an exciting welcome home gathering at the airport.....I am pretty sure that this expression on Lulu's big brother's face sums it all up.....he was so precious, he looked at his mommy and said, "I am so glad you got her. I was afraid they weren't going to let you bring her home."
And we are glad they got her too! One less orphan.....one less baby girl going to bed tonight without the kisses and hugs from her forever family.....
Lulu comfortably took us in while she sat safely in the arms of her mother.....
And one more friend for Maddox....one very special friend. Can't wait to see these two together as they grow up!
Welcome home Hatcher family of SEVEN! We are so blessed to know each of you!
